


First And Last Time

by Cupcaqe



Category: The Red Line (2019), The Red Line - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Canon Gay Character, Canon Gay Relationship, Cheating, Crying, Daniel needs a hug, Gay Male Character, Harrison is alive, Infidelity, Jealousy, Lies, M/M, Marriage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 06:54:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19290517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cupcaqe/pseuds/Cupcaqe
Summary: Daniel finds out about Harrison's cheating and confronts him about it.





	First And Last Time

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, you guessed it. Harrison is alive in this one. 
> 
> This work is unbeta'd so all the mistakes are mine. I apologize for each of them. 
> 
> Anyway. Hope you enjoy!

Harrison took his jacket off and hung it by the door then walked in with quiet steps toward the kitchen where he found Daniel putting away some dishes.

“If this isn’t a lovely sight…I don’t know what is,” he said, greeting his husband with a wide smile on his face.

Daniel lifted his gaze to meet his eyes briefly then returned it to the counter he’d now started cleaning with a wet rag. “You’re early.”

Harrison furrowed his brow. That was uncharacteristic of Daniel. He usually was a lot more thrilled to see him come home, especially if he came home early. But now he thought of it, Daniel had been a bit short with him the last couple of days. 

“Is…that a problem?” Harrison asked, taking tentative steps toward his husband.

“Of course not,” Daniel replied, flashing Harrison with a grin that seemed a bit forced. “You hungry? I made stew.”

“Maybe later,” Harrison said, rubbing his stomach. “One of the nurses had a birthday today. They ordered a bunch of pizzas.” 

_Ugh_. He hated lying to his husband. He’d had pizza, yeah, just…not exactly at the hospital. 

“Huh,” Daniel said, shaking his head slowly and letting out a weak chuckle. “Okay.”

Harrison studied the other man’s strange behavior carefully. Daniel‘s evasive eyes didn’t tell him much, so he let it go for now.

“So where’s Jira?”

“She’s gonna be spending the night at Riley’s,” Daniel informed. “Actually, you just missed her. Had I known you were coming home _this_ early, I would’ve told her to wait till you got here, but…I never know with you anymore.”

At that, Harrison arched his eyebrows. So Daniel was definitely upset about something. He wasn’t making eye contact and he still hadn’t come to him to give him a ´happy you’re back’ kiss. But Harrison shrugged his concerns off when he realized they had the house all to themselves for the night. Besides, they never fought. Whatever it was, Daniel would let him know when he felt was right, and they would work it out.

“Does this mean it’s just the two of us, then?” Harrison said in a seductive tone, walking around the counter to approach Daniel from behind. “We could open a bottle of wine,” He suggested against the back of Daniel’s head, inhaling the sweet conditioner as he buried his nose in the soft hair. “Besides, it’s been a few days since we’ve had sex...” He added in a husky tone and leaned down to kiss Daniel’s neck, while circling his arms around the slim waist, all the while pressing his growing bulge against his husband’s ass. 

It didn’t have the desired effect for Daniel tensed up in his arms and shrugged his kiss off. “That sounds… _perfect_ ,” he said in a strained tone at the same time as he turned in the embrace to look at Harrison, “unless, of course…Dr. Brennan’s too tired from saving lives all day long.”

And there was the eye contact, but it wasn’t what Harrison was expecting. His husband’s eyes seemed cold and unwelcoming.

“Uh, well, I had a couple of complicated surgeries and got called down to the ER way too many times, but nothing I can’t handle,” Harrison said with a suggestive smirk—and using that cocky tone Daniel liked so much during foreplay— to help ease some of the tension.  
It didn’t work.

“Glad to hear you’re just tired from work and not from fucking that bartender,” Daniel let out bluntly and Harrison’s stomach dropped.

“Whu-what are you—?” he stuttered, reaching out to grab Daniel as his husband pulled away from his hold. 

“No. Don’t touch me,” Daniel hissed, taking a step back until his lower back hit the counter on the opposite side. “I don’t want you touching me after you’ve—you probably still smell of _him_.”

“Daniel, I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said in a weak attempt at buying himself some time, but there was no quick fix for what was happening. Daniel knew. And this sort of damage wasn’t the kind Harrison was trained to repair. 

“Don’t even try to deny it, Harrison. And please, stop lying to my face. I know everything. I know where he works. I know you spent all day with him,” Daniel laughed a pained laugh as he gestured with his hands; voice shaky with anger and hurt. “I stopped by the hospital this afternoon.” At that, Harrison's eyes widened. “You didn’t have surgery nor had a hectic day at the ER. You weren’t even on shift today, you damn liar!”

Defeated, Harrison hung his head in shame. “How did you—?”

“Find out?” Daniel finished for him. Harrison nodded. “Word of advice. If you didn’t want your husband to find out about your secret affair, you probably shouldn’t have left pictures of you and your fuck buddy lying around the house!” Daniel said as he angrily fished out the picture in question from his jean’s back pocket and threw it at Harrison’s feet. “It was in one of your medical books. Jira could’ve found that!”

Stunned, Harrison looked at the pictures and slowly looked up to meet his husband’s eyes, finding nothing but disappointment and disgust in them. “Daniel…I am…so…sorry.”

“You’re sorry?” Daniel scoffed; hands on his hips. “Oh, do tell me what you’re so sorry about. I doubt you’re sorry that you got to fuck some young, attractive guy, so it’s gotta be that I caught you. That Dr. Harrison Brennan, prodigy in surgery, was stupid enough to leave that picture for me to find it. That’s what you’re so sorry about!” 

“Daniel, I was…I was gonna end it. I swear.”

“When!?” Daniel snapped. “After you got bored of him and decided to move on to the next young thing?”

Harrison rubbed his brow and took a deep breath, trying to collect his thoughts. “Please, Daniel. Let me explain. I know it sounds…awful, but it’s not like that. I was just stressed about work. We’d spent four hours trying to patch up this…patient who’d been in a car accident,” he said, opting to omit the fact that it’d been a little girl, “but it wasn’t enough. They died on the table. I went to that bar to wash it off with a drink. But then I got to talking with—” Harrison stopped himself when Daniel’s face scrunched up with pain and tears streamed down his face. “It didn’t mean anything. I swear.”

“Really?” Daniel said with a mirthless smile; tears freely running down his face now. “‘Cuz I can’t remember last time you took a day off just to spend it with me.” Daniel’s voice broke as he said that, as well as Harrison’s heart at witnessing the amount of pain he’d caused to the man he loved. “He must mean something to you if you keep cute pictures of the two of you. There’s gotta be something more to it than just sex.”

“Daniel. I promise you—”

“Just…stop,” Daniel huffed and took a deep, shuddering breath. He then wiped his tears with both hands and crossed his arms across his chest; eyes fixed on the floor ahead of him.

Harrison was at a loss for words. He didn’t know how to make Daniel understand that what he had with Finn was completely superficial. That nobody could ever come close to him. That he regretted ever taking Finn up on his offer to come back to his apartment and would take it all back if he could. He’d been meaning to end it all anyway, but he’d been weak and self indulgent and had let Finn convince him to—No. That was cowardly of him. Finn hadn’t convinced him into anything. He’d chosen to stay for another drink. He’d chosen to go to Finn’s apartment. Hell, he’d wanted it. And there was nobody to blame but him.

“Is there anything I can do…or say…to—”

“How long you’ve been cheating on me?” Daniel interrupted, looking up at him.

The question took Harrison by surprise. “I really don’t think….”

“I have a right to know for how long you’ve been lying to me!” Daniel snapped. “You taking more shifts at the hospital didn’t make any sense to me ‘cuz you were already overworking yourself, but now? Now it all makes sense.”

Harrison shook his head slowly, feeling like the worst piece of shit to ever exist. It was true. He had told Daniel he’d taken a couple more shifts just so he could spend it with Finn. There was nothing he could say in his defense, so he just kept quiet.

“I mean…we already see so little of you with Jira…” Daniel continued in a trembling voice. “Did you really have to cut more of your time with us just so you could spend it with this person you claim doesn’t mean anything to you? Is that how little you care about us?”

At that, Harrison had to say something. He understood where Daniel was coming from, but that was simply not true. He loved both of them to death. 

“You know that’s not true, Daniel.”

“I don’t know anything anymore.” Daniel’s voice broke and he began to cry openly. It took all of Harrison’s will power not to go to him and gather him in his arms. 

He’d failed. He’d failed as a husband and as a father. He didn’t even want to imagine what Jira would think of him now. Jira’s relationship with Daniel was a tempestuous one. They argued a lot and sometimes even ended up screaming at each other, but they were also incredibly close and they loved each other dearly. It was Daniel who’d always been there for their daughter while Harrison was stuck at the hospital till late hours of the night, after all. If Jira ever found out about what he’d done to Daniel, she would never forgive him.

“I never wanted to hurt you, baby. That was not my intention. But you have every right to…to hate me,” Harrison said, forcing that last bit out. He hadn’t considered the possibility of Daniel hating him over this, but it could happen, as it could happen that Daniel chose to never forgive him.

No, he couldn’t let that happen. No way could he live without Daniel.

Harrison’s concerns were soothed when his husband spoke again.

“If I hated you, it wouldn’t hurt this bad.” Daniel sniffed, giving him a pained look. “Tell me something, Harrison. Are you tired of me?”

That cut right through Harrison’s heart. "Of course not.”

“Then why? I know I don’t look like I used to, but you’d be surprised about how many times I still get to turn other men down. I just never tell you, ‘cuz I know it bothers you,” Daniel said. And it was true. Against all logic, Harrison was a rather jealous man. “Maybe I should just take the next one up on their offer…you know…to even things out.” Harrison took a deep breath and let it out slowly to keep his emotions under control and not fall for Daniel’s prodding. “Or maybe I’ll just ask my coworker Liam out.”

That did it. 

“Daniel, we can talk about this like adults,” Harrison said with a bit more passion than he intended.

“Oh, get off your high horse, Harrison!” Daniel scoffed. “You’re in no position to make demands. And I’m not joking. I’m seriously considering it. Remember you giving me shit about him last year?” Daniel continued with his jabs. “You told me you didn’t like the way he looked at me. He’s younger too. Lots of stamina,” he added with evident thrill in his tone. “I bet he can fuck me all ni—”

“Stop it!” Harrison huffed before he could contain himself. 

“Is that… _jealousy_ I’m hearing?” Daniel said with an amused tone. “What? Can’t handle the idea of other another man fucking me? Kinda hypocritical of you, don’t you think?”

“How is you sleeping with another man gonna fix anything?” Harrison said in a strained tone. He knew he had no right to be upset, but he couldn’t help it. Just the image of Daniel with another man was just…No. 

“Are you under the impression that this is a fixable thing? Damage is already done, Harrison!” Daniel exclaimed, gesturing with his arms widely. “You’ve been cheating on me for who knows how long! There’s no fixing this.”

“Look. I know I did a terrible thing—” Harrison started, but Daniel bristled, interrupting him again.

“Talking about it in past tense, are we? You just came home from fucking that guy!”

“What can I do?” He asked in a desperate tone. “Tell me. I’ll do anything…anything it takes, for you to forgive me.”

“Nothing. There’s nothing you can do that would make me feel better. You’re like this…whole different man now. I used to think of you’d as the last person who would ever hurt me,” Daniel said, the hurt back in his tone. “Guess I was wrong.”

“Daniel, please,” Harrison begged pathetically, appealing to Daniel’s good heart. “I’ll do anything. Anything you ask of me. But please, just…give me another chance.”

Daniel studied him for few seconds. He seemed to be considering it and Harrison had never been so expectant in his life.

“You’re not gonna see him anymore.” With that, Harrison let out the air he’d been holding. “I mean it, Harrison.”

“I won’t. I promise.”

“Delete his number,” Daniel continued his demands, “all of his texts, his pictures; his videos…all the crap I’m sure you have in your phone. Everything! I want to see you doing it.”

Harrison pulled out his phone and began scrolling. It was the least he could do after all. 

Daniel came closer, but stayed at a distance where he couldn’t quite see the contents in his phone. The poor thing probably didn’t want to see what was there.

After a few seconds of fusing through his phone, Harrison was satisfied. There wasn’t much to begin with.

“Done,” he informed.

“I’m gonna check your phone later, so better make sure there’s nothing left,” Daniel said matter of fact; arms crossed across his chest. “I don’t wanna be seeing anything…” he trailed off then and fresh tears began filling his eyes. They rolled down his cheeks soon enough and Harrison had to reach out to wipe them away. 

“Daniel, I’m so sorry,” Harrison apologized wholeheartedly as he held his husband’s face between his palms. “I was weak and stupid and selfish.”

Daniel pulled away after a few seconds. “Was this the first time?” He asked, angrily drying the fresh tears with his sleeve.

“First and last time,” he said with conviction. 

“Did you use protection or do I need to get tested?”

Harrison’s stomach twisted. That Daniel was even wondering that…

“Daniel—”

“Did you?” Daniel asked again, looking at him with intent.

“I did.”

“Every time?”

He sighed. “Yes.”

“Well, you did one thing right,” Daniel said with a shrug. “But you still haven’t answered me.”

“What?”

“Why did you do it? What were you seeking going to that bar?”

“Nothing, Daniel,” Harrison said tiredly. “I already told you. I was just stressed with work.”

“And you couldn’t come to me?” Daniel asked in a shaky voice. “I’m your husband. That’s what I’m here for. Do I not support you enough? Can’t you de-stress here with your family who loves you?”

“Yes, Daniel. Of course I can.”

“Then help me understand.” New tears started flooding Daniel’s eyes. “Why does my husband, who claims to love me, seek out comfort from a stranger?”

“There’re some things I just can’t bring home, alright?!” Harrison snapped. “I can’t bring all the pain and suffering I see at the hospital every day to you and Jira.”

Daniel shook his head slowly, obviously unconvinced. “Jira wants to be a doctor. And I’m a grown man, Harrison. What makes you think you can’t talk to me about these things, especially if they’re weighing you down?”

“Because I want you to feel safe, Daniel,” he said with as much intent as he could put in his voice, for it was the truth. Ever since he’d met Daniel and had learned of how rough the other had had it until then, Harrison had wanted nothing but to keep Daniel safe and give him a life of comfort and stability so that he would want for a thing again. And most importantly, that he would always feel loved. And Harrison had done just that. Until now.

“That doesn’t explain why you had to sleep with him. I know you’re tired of me. I just know it,” Daniel sighed, shaking his head again.

“No, baby—”

“I mean, it’s been twenty years together. You wanted a change in scenario. I get it. But I never needed anyone else. You know why?” Daniel said with a pained smile. “Because you’re enough for me.” Harrison looked down at the floor between then, too ashamed to continue to look into Daniel’s eyes. “Maybe I’d understand it better if it were someone you work with,” Daniel continued. “Someone you see every day. Someone you couldn’t help but develop feelings for from spending so much time together. But this is some random guy who works at a bar you don’t even frequent,” he said with a sniff. “This is someone you actively sought out because I’m not enough for you anymore.”

And if it was possible, more tears streamed down his husband’s face.

“I promise you, love, that is not true. I wasn’t seeking anything but a drink when I walked into that bar. Trust me, Daniel. You are enough.” 

At that, Daniel began sobbing. 

Harrison knew that was something Daniel still struggled with, and for years he’d made it his mission to make his husband feel loved. Going into that bar and sleeping with Finn had invalidated years of dedication. With that one slip he’d hurt Daniel more than he’d ever helped him.

Unable to contain himself any longer, Harrison stepped closer to Daniel’s hunched figure. He was expecting the other to push him away, but it didn’t happen. Instead, Daniel went pliant when Harrison pulled him against his chest. And exhausted from all the crying as he was, he even let him wrap his arms around his shaky form and hold him tight. 

“I love you. Don’t ever doubt that. You and Jira…are my life,” Harrison spoke softly against Daniel’s ear. He prayed that it sunk in.

Harrison was thankful that Daniel hadn’t told him to pack up his things and leave the house. He would’ve deserved it if it’d happened. But Daniel was forgiving and sweet and just too good a person to do that. 

Harrison wasn’t naïve. He knew this wasn’t over. He’d hurt Daniel and their marriage close to irreparably, but as long as they had love between them—and he was sure that they had it— they would be able to move past this. 

After Daniel had cried the last of his tears, Harrison helped him up to their bed. And when he’d attempted to lie down on the sofa next to the bed, Daniel had stopped him and told him to _‘just come to bed’_ , claiming it was a banal display of humbleness and that he would help no one by waking up with a stiff neck.

Harrison had had to chuckle at that. 

And as he lay there next to his sleeping husband, Harrison sent his last text to Finn. He knew the other would understand and leave things as they were. They’d talked about the possibility of Daniel finding out. And Finn was a decent guy. He’d always showed some remorse when they’d talked about Daniel, even going as far as questioning the continuity of their affair. He should’ve listened to him.

Truth was, Harrison didn’t know why he’d let it go so far. Finn was an attractive young man and he’d needed a distraction. That was what it was. And Finn had been aware of that. But one thing he knew for sure. It hadn’t been worth it. And he’d spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to Daniel.


End file.
